Right.

Got back together with Rohit.

It might work this time, or it might not. I don't really know. But at least I'd be assured that I tried as hard as I could.

I wanna thank all my friends who were there for me and who supported every decision I made - Radhi, Mitali, the entire NBS....you guys are the best. I'd be lost without you.

Thanks for everything.

Free-Fall.....

Bungee Jumping.
The bungee cord feels tight around your waist as you look down and stare into oblivion. Beads of perspiration form on your forehead as the enormity of what you are about to do sinks into you and threatens to morph your excitement to panic. Your breathing becomes shallow, your world swims out of focus. Fear threatens to spread its deathly tentacles around you, seizing you in a vice-like grip, slowly extending its stranglehold from head to toe. Before you can come to terms with your newfound state of apprehension, someone in the background yells, "5!" Your trepidations leave you, replacing themselves with all the important instructions your instructor threw at you, during training. "4!" Your mind wipes itself clean off all the thoughts. "3!" You stretch out your arms like an eagle. The chasm below you is your sky. "2!" You close your eyes, take a deep breath and psych yourself. "1!" You crouch down, ready to push off. It is time. "Bungee!!" And you watch the ground below rushing up to embrace you, like a balrog wishing to engulf you in its lethal flames. A gut-wrenching scream escapes your lips, as adrenaline courses through your body. Suddenly , a surprisingly gentle tug from your cord makes you slow down, and halt within inches of the gaping jaws of the fire-demon. You feel alive, like you have never before, and you savour those few moments of flight. The eagle once again spreads its wings , and soars. Its horizon has contracted. It's fear is temporarily at bay.
Soon you are pulled back to safety by your friends, your fellow jumpers. They have done it before, they know. The know you love the experience. You love the panic, the exhilaration and the calm that follows. You can't wait to jump again.......

Often you take the plunge, relish the contrasting emotions it evokes within you and rely on your friends to put you back on solid ground.

Sound familiar?

Yes, a perfect example of the one thing that befuddles us all.

Life.

Crappy Birthday to me.

13th June 2005 was my 19th birthday. It was a wonderful day, and I have to thank my friends for it. And Rohit.

But things have only gone downhill since then.

Catharsis

I think that everytime you break up with someone you have loved, you leave a bit of yourself behind, which you can never recover.

I think that sometimes loving the person, however deeply, is not enough to sustain your relationship.

I think that sometimes doing what is right is just too damn painful.

I think that sometimes you have to do the right thing, however painful it is.

I think that crying just doesnt have the cathartic effect it used to; you still end up miserable.

I think that you do not realise the value of what you have, till you have lost it.

I think that maybe it is unwise to get so involved in a relationship, that it is hard to let go. Really, really hard.

I think that it is unfair to ask someone to change for you; love is supposed to be unconditional.

I think that even though I am in a bad shape right now, I can deal with this. Life goes on, right?

Wrong.

Day Two: 30th May, 2005

Ah.....Day two, now that was something.

Centurion Medusa knew that it was gonna be a bad day, but in actuality, it turned out to be really funny, all thanks to the aforementioned Shiamak instructors and their hilarious antics and priceless rules. Read on.....

So, my throat was FUCKED, although it wasnt as bad as day 3, it was still pathetic. Was coughing all day, had a cold and a fever with a BAAAD headache. Had gone to work like that, taken a half day, and landed up in St.Andrews auditorium. The journey comprised of Thane to Nariman Point to Bandra, a total of 2 hrs. In Bombay local trains. In summer. Those who stay here will know that my mental and physical state must ve been as good as Saddam Hussein's the day he was captured. Anyway, needed a paracetamol ASAP. Crocin, preferably, as it is the MILDEST. Stressing on that point very much.
And hence, after determining that none of my fellow dancers carried one, I did the next most logical thing and asked one of the instuctors. Apparently, logic was having a picnic with sanity in the Sanjay Gandhi National Park when the SDIPA Rules were drafted. The conversation took place as follows:

ME: Erm..Excuse me? Hi, *cough* listen, *sniff sniff* I really need a crocin , m not feelin too well *cough cough cough* . Can you please help me out here?
Shiamak Davar's Braindead Instuctor (SDBI) : We cannot give you one. We will need written permission from your parents.
Me: (rubbing her ears vigorously to ensure that no earwax is blocking hearing) ermm.... WAAHHHHT?!?!?!?!?! YOU NEED WHAT FOR A CROCIN????
SDBI: Er written permission from your parents, or we cant give it to you, sorry.
Me :*cough cough* So it is ok if I pass out on the stage and make a spectacle of myself(and the bloddy dance) but you wont give me a tab? *sniff*
SDBI: Er....yeah, something like that.
At this point I am so irritated that i decide i will not test my patience and stop arguing with the SDBI, lest I decide to strangle her with my precious silver sequin studded scarf.
Me: Ok then, *cough cough cough* I need it right now, *SNEEZE SNEEZE* and there is no way I can get written permission right now, so tell me what needs to be done*sniff*
SDBI: Ask your mom/dad/distant relative to speak to us on the phone.
Me: Fine....
And a prompt call is placed to father dearest and the situation is explained to him, who speaks to the SDBI.
Dad: Yeah, just give her the goddamn crocin.
SDBI: But we will need written permission from you sir... Could you give it to us when you come to pick her up?
At this point I lose control and yell , "I AM FUCKING NINETEEN!!!"
SDBI freaks out and tells Dad that she will give me a tab. Hangs up and astonishes me further.
SDBI: Ok I will need a letter written by you that you take full responsibility for taking the tab and that we have spoken to at least one of your parent for permission.
Me: (beyond all levels of incredulity) OK

And presented before you today is a word by word reproduction of the letter written on that day, after being sent back three times to make 1456676 additions in it. It must be noted that while writing that letter I was asked by at least 6 of my fellow dancers if I was writing it because I was leaving Shiamak and not doing the remaning shows. Wish I could describe the looks on their faces when I told them that it was for a tab.
The letter, then:

To whomsoever this may concern.
I, miss Anuya (19), from the beginners batch, Matunga, am taking full responsibility for the consumption of one paracetamol tablet (Crocin) owing to a sudden bout of ill health. I hereby assure you that permission has been sought regarding the same from my father who has been kind enough to reply in the affirmative. I also confirm that I have taken the tablet before and have neither displayed any symptoms of an allergic reaction nor have I lost my life, because well if I would have, who would have written this letter? So please, I will be highly obliged if the aforementioned matter is settled as soon as possible, lest some other ridiculous rule is added to the plethora of existing ones.
Thanking You.
Yours sincerely,
Anuya

Well, I have a warped sense of humour, like so many of my fellow NBSites...hehe.

So letter is submitted, scrutinised and I'm asked to wait for a loooooong time till frustrated and defeated, I try looking for one of my own instructors, hoping to cajole them into giving me the godforsaken tab, when i meet my saviour , who is the boyfriend of one of my classmates. His name is Sumit and he is in the Special Potential Batch - 1 and hence enjoys certain privileges. I had met him twice before,the first time at Symbi and next at Mallu's Holi Party. He could have hurled a brick at me when I asked him for help, coz i had called him Sanjay the first time I saw him at Shaimak. But he was sweet enough to promptly get me a crocin, enquire about my health all the remaining days and compliment me after every performance, however horrible I was. In case I didnt say it before, I m extremely grateful to him.Thanks dude. Hope you and Sasha have a long courtship, a dream wedding and 10 kids.... hehe Gunk effect.

*Sigh* It is such a difficult life. Made at least two major gaffes onstage, but given my state of mind and body, i will say it was an achievement. And after the performance, the waiting period for the 12 year olds mother shrank from 2 hrs to one hour 15 mins. So victory was mine, there.


Sheeeeesh.

SDIPA Shows....

Ok, so we all know that there were 7 shows, right? 4 days, 7 shows, 42 dances, 1600 students dressed in ridiculously gaudy clothing, lotsa wierd things happening.
When Anisha, my instructor, had appointed me the team leader, my heart had swelled with ill-concealed pride. By the end of the third day, however, all I wanted to do was to shove red hot iron rods up every SDIPA official's arse(and Anisha's for making me team leader). The fourth day changed everything,though. And you will soon see why.

Day One - Sunday, 29th May, 2005

Afternoon was spent sticking silver sequins on fellow dancers boring white tops. Some smartypants came up with the idea of writing giant 'S' s on the backs of all the girls' tops. His reason being that S stands for Shiamak and S stands for Summer Funk. Yeah, well S also stands for 'Screw you benhchod', but i dont think he quite got the message. And so the job was done by the Team Leader aka dumb loser aka me.
Next came the technical rehearsals, which were a lot of fun as none of us knew what the heck needs to be done on a stage. Thrice I came close to falling flat on my nose onstage in an audi filled with the aforementioned 1600 students, but still it was fun. Masochism is my religion, you see. Shiamak Davar himself came onstage after the rehearsals, and gave us a short, highly enlightening speech on how we shouldnt mess around with our, ahem, chaddis on stage ( i swear he used that word). No fooling around with your wedgies, learn to dance with them. Valuable lessons in life, I tell ya.
The main show was fantastic. Since it was our first, everyone was pumped up and eager to please. As for me, once again I discovered what an awesome high performing on stage gives you.

Our's was the first performance in the evening show, which started at 7.45. So I was free by 8.15, see? Now however, the goddamn Shiamak rules state that Team bloody Leader chutiyas must wait till every one of their students has left for home. So yours truly was stuck waiting with a 12 yr old kid, whose mother decided that the most appropriate time to pick up her daughter would be 10 p.m, after catching up with all her favourite soaps. As for me, you could've fried omelettes on my head.
Reached home at 11.30, exhausted.


Day Two - Monday, 30th May, 2005

To be continued......

BUNTY!!! BUNTY!!!

Yeh jo world hai na, world, isme do tarah ke log rehte hain.
Ek, jo Abhishek Bachchan se mila hai, aur doosra jo Abhishek Bachchan se nahin mila hain....



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I OWN THE FUCKING GROUND YOU GUYS WALK ON!!!!!!!!!