Slumber Party....

Hi.....
It's 5.15 in the morning.
Akshy's havin a bath coz she is 'tired'.
Raddy's readin porn after downing Romanov.
Ayesha's crashed on my bed, after practicing her seduction techniques on Aksh.
I am writing this stuff coz watching 'Eyes Wide Shut' has stimulated the Dionysus in me.
We are all listening to - 'Paint my Love' - MLTR
We are all looking for - Porn that does not make u wanna swear off sex.

There r 4 girls. There's booze. There's wannabe porn. There's romantic music. There's the cover of the night.

Use ur imagination.

P.S - 90% of the people in the world hv bisexual tendencies. So screw u.







P.P.S - All the stuff written above??? NOT TRUE!!!! hehehehehehehehehe

Got u thinkin 4 a moment there, didnt i?

Red is everywhere...


A brown stretcher lays, with a body – sized lump on it. Covering the lump, a white sheet, matted with the crimson of newly shed blood. A gnarled hand has escaped the folds of white – it lies still, bloody. Two gold rings protrude and catch your eye, scarlet and gold, ironically, the colours of victory. A broken shoe has fallen a few feet away, and is being trampled upon by the unsuspecting commuter, scurrying along to finish his errands, oblivious. Two attendants, their faces pale, their eyes sunken, dressed identically in stark white, soon arrive. They pick up the stretcher and haul it away to an ambulance parked nearby. The lone hand trails its path up to the ambulance, in red. Then it is lost, as the vehicle speeds away. The solitary shoe is forgotten.
Watching the drama unfold is an 18 year old girl on her way back home. She shudders, and tries to avert her eyes, aware of the demons she will have to battle at night, but her gaze remains riveted on the stretcher, and the blood, so much blood. A train screeches to a halt in front of her, the stunned silence erupts in cacophony, and she gets in, still in a daze. A man jostles past her; his ears like those of the many others around are tinged with the ruby tint of gulal, his hands are covered with rainbow hues. He smiles an impish smile, unapologetic, and gets down on the other side, on to the tracks, in an effort to reach the train on the other side. He grips the edge of the compartment and lugs himself up, almost slipping, but he is not troubled. For him, it is routine. To cross railway tracks, to jump into running trains, to hang from doors, despite all warnings, is routine. He gets in and casts a lecherous look upon the girl, whose train is held up by a red light. She sighs, and turns away, and as her train starts moving, wonders. Wonders if the next hand she spies trailing a stretcher, will have rainbow hues......

That 18 year old girl is me. The day is 26th of March, 2005, Holi.

Crossing railway tracks is suicide. We know that, and we all comprehend the gravity of the statement. Yet, in the morning rush hour, we choose to ignore its implications. We suffer from the ‘It won’t happen to me’ syndrome. Until it happens to us. But by then, it is too late.

Let us stop right now, while we still stand a chance.
Happy Holi everyone.

To the Martians, with love

No, this is not an account of how I was abducted by aliens, nor is it a testimony of any kind of sexual preference towards them (you perverts!!…all I have to say is, shame!), but it is a simple ode to the commonest of all aliens in our midst – MEN (Men are from Mars...gedit??), and their convoluted minds. For try as I might, I simply cannot seem to figure them out .Hence this is but a humble endeavour to try and understand what a guy means when he asks, ‘Hey, you want to have coffee this Friday?’ Because it can mean the following things:
a) I think you are cool and I would like to know you better.
b) I want to copy those notes that you seem to be taking in every lecture with your nose in that notebook, you nerd of the highest order, otherwise I’d have ignored you like the plague.
c) Hey, how about a romp in the hay???
Now assuming that your guy meant the first alternative when he popped that question, and your answer was in the negative (because you are in love with your best friend’s hunkalicious big brother) another befuddling event will occur. He will start the wooing process known in more cultured terms as ‘pataoing’, and before you know it, your house will be a shrine to orchids, soft-toys and Lindts. Now, orchids and soft toys you may resist, but chocolates?!?! How on earth will an 18 yr-old, blue-blooded female ever be able to abstain from consuming free Lindts?!?! So your resolve gradually breaks (friend’s big brother who?) and you finally agree to go out on a date with the aforementioned ‘your guy’. One date turns into 4, 4 into a month and soon you are ‘a couple’. Thus begins one of the most nerve-wracking periods in a woman’s life – a relationship.
For a while it is all hunky-dory, till you realize that you are never going to see another Lindt wrapper without a sermon on the recession in the economy, and the honeymoon is over. Then D-day arrives and your guy says, ‘I don’t think things are working out.....’ which can mean the following things:
a) I like your sister
b) I think you are swell, but its time you go to hell.
c) So, how about that romp in the hay, eh?
So now you are nursing a broken heart and cursing the male species, wondering, why do guys chase women they have no intentions of keeping? That, my extra x-chromosomed friends, is the million dollar question. Please answer it and aid my noble quest of making sense of your actions. Or are you not ‘man’ enough?!

Lessons in life for Dummies

It's amazing how much a day in your life can teach you. Here are a few lessons I learnt in the span of one day:
1) It feels great 2 walk into a gym n have all overweight eyes on u, enviously ogglin at your near perfect bod......Narcissus, you may hv a new fan club.
2) It is a waste of 5000 bucks n a near perfect bod if ur gym isnt unisex.
3) If u try 2 do stomach crunches faster then usual 2 show off, u will hv trouble laughin the next day.
4) Calling ur teacher a giant bubble of pus probably isnt a gud idea if he is standin right next 2 u.
5) Somesh is hottt.
6) There is no use crying over spilt vodka....boohoohooohoo aaaargh!
7) Tryin 2 teach ur fellow classmates Hindi n Marathi can b very rewarding... esp if u get 2 hear Rishi say, "Batatyache Bhaav vadhle".
8) Ayesha n I shud start a talk show. Any1 who has seen us take Rishi's case knows tat v deserve one. Sorry Simi, Karan.
9) You have 2 accept that, sometimes in life u r the pigeon, n sometimes u r the statue.
10) Balaporia looks like the local drag queen. Also she draws her eyebrows on.
10) Alls well that ends well.
11) Did I mention tat somesh is hottt!

er.... That's all folks!!

FINALLYYY!!!

THE TRAILS OF MEDUSA - EPISODE ONE

" Long long ago in a kingdom far far away there lived a princess named Medusa. Her splendour and magnificience were equalled only by her unprecedented intelligence, her perfection by her persona. Her aura radiated goodwill and benevolence and she was loved by all. But one day her seemingly perfect world crashed about her, as one of her deadliest and most fiercely guarded secrets was revealed to the kingdom - she surreptitiously listened to Britney Spears. Consequently she was shunned by other princesses of her age, and the law banned her from talking to other princes, lest the horrible disease should spread. Soon her loneliness gnawed at her, and she sought the help of the only person who could assist her, Princess...er Prince Rishi. Banned by the Law himself for being the biggest know-it-all there ever was, and annoying the crap out of everyone, Prince Rishi,eager to rush to the aid of the beautiful Princess Medusa, recommended the services of this blog. And the rest, as they say, is marine biology.
Princess Anuya's entry into the realm of bloggers however, wasn't uneventful. Soon after her first post, her blog metamorphed into the battleground for the most vicious blogwars in bloggerworld. H3lios, the evil twin of Prince Rishi, aided and abetted by his minions - supernova, omen and sam, staged an ambush on the unsuspecting Medusa...."



So what hppnd next??? Did Medusa defeat the wicked forces of h3lios??? Or did h3lios succeed in total desecration of her blog??? To find out, tune in same day, same time, next week. Until then, from the team at freaktestimonies, toodle-oo!!!
THE END


Aaaaannnnnnnnd as the golden wreath rests on my gorgeous tresses, I can safely say, that one of the most hectic two weeks of my life have finally come to an end. Exasperation, frustration and irritation have all been replaced by satisfaction, relaxation and a desperate shortage of words ending with 'tion'(hehe...let's call all the P.Js on the post tode the 'muse' effect) A writer's block has also seemed to have seeped in, but i shall attribute that to Mani's ubiquitous charm - it has taken over my senses ( HAHAHAHAHAHA) and of course lack of sleep.

Till the next post, then, from one word to another - adios.

I'm lovin - Terry Pratchett - The Light Fantastic
Also Rans - Soundtrack from Shabd
Prank calls to people at 3 a.m - "Meri bhainse doodh de rahi hai, aapke ghar kitne liter pahochaoon??" (All - night parties rock!!)

Pinkyblog owner blues........*sighs dramatically*

Since the sole purpose of this blog seems 2 b the entertainment of some wiseass creeps who get their rockers off by denigrating my blog, this post has been put up 4 their convenience. I wouldnt want their pretty lil fingers 2 b hurt while scrolling down, now, would i?

I'll c u in hell......

Look Mommy , I have a blog!

Aah the pleasures of havin ur own parent-proof crib site!!!
Now i can make fun of my Auntie Zeenie and her beard without my mom gettin upset! Not that have an auntie Zeenie, or a beard 4 that matter, but still if i cud, i would.....not grow a beard, but make fun of my auntie Zeenie..................................i think its safe 2 say that im a lil confused:-/
Anyways..........
[Enters Oscar mode] I shall launch my blog with my deepest and warmest thanks 2 Rish 4 bein such an inspiration, i couldnt have done it without him;-), n of course Rohan Joshi who probably will b shocked 2 hear his name mentioned 4 i have spoken 2 him but 1ce, n that 2 in an inebriated state(prnt-proofin reason no 1#their knowledge abt my drunken escapades in pune can b seriously hazardous 2 my health). Also due 4 gratitude r my friends 4 constantly remindin me wat a lazy ass i m( criticism works....ALLLLLWWAAAAAAYYYYYYSS!!!), my beloved boyfriend ( prnt-proofin reason no#2their knowledge abt my boyfriend can b seriously hazardous 2 my health)my 12th standard physics lab partner(he made me realise that my future lay in writing baloney such as this) the woman i spilt coffee on in the 2nd class compartment 0f the 5.57 Borivli local yesterday( she has greatly contributed 2 my vocabulary with THE most delightful invectives i've ever had the fortune of comin across,& in 5 different languages too) n my dog (4 no particular reason). [exit Oscar mode]
There's lot more i wanna say, but sadly the rumbling in my stomach is gettin louder by the minute, n my refrigerator beckons 4 a midnight snack (prnt-proofin reason no 3#my dad's knowledge abt me finishin the last piece of the walnut brownie can b seriously hazardous 2 my health). So seeya ppl. Catch u in a (hopefully) more interestin n less 'wannabe-funny' blog entry. Nighty night!

P.S - I dont have a dog - it jus like 2 pretend that i do....does that make me wierd??
P.P.S - Don't answer that.