STONED.

A part of me is rather surprised that I'm alive right now.

That same part of me was the one that kept screaming, "I'm dying!" over and over again in my head, however stupid that may seem in retrospect.

I don't know what happened to me yesterday - For three hours my world had shrunk itself to the innards of my brain. The images around me seemed mere illusions - like I was walking through glass. My senses were heightened; I could see and hear everything that was going on, down to the slightest detail. I can tell you exactly what Tushar kept repeating to himself ("Fuuuck!"), I can tell you that Gayatri called up Nammo's mom and told her that she was convulsing and chanting and that they were very worried. I remember looking at Tulsi's yellow face and red T-Shirt, and thinking, “ Under normal circumstances, I would have made cracks about jaundice (My IQ isn’t the point, here) and laughed at her. But fuck knows this is not a normal circumstance.” I could register everything that was happening around me. Like a man with his neck on the guillotine registers.

Adding fuel to the fire were the random snatches of people's conversations that kept on looping in my head:

“Do you want some water, Raddy?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m puking out the water that I just drank.”

“Do you want some water, Raddy?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m puking out the water that I just drank.”

“Do you want some water, Raddy?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m puking out the water that I just drank.”

I saw what happened to Raddy and I was terrified. I was worried about her, and at the same time I didn’t want to end up that way. My brain rummaged around for and repeated every little bit of information I had amassed over the year about Bhang. I could hear my dad say, “Don’t try bhang. You might not like it – it’s a very scary experience.” I heard Akshata go, “Dude, I got so high last time. It was awesome!” Sam’s voice said, “The effect lasts for any period of time, from 4 – 48 hours”, over and over again. At that point I couldn’t take it anymore. I heard the voices in my head scream, “Make it stop! Make this go away!” But I couldn’t do anything. It was like my brain was sending signals to the rest of me, but all the rest of me could do was go, “Huh?” in response. Then my brain started cursing me for drinking so much at one go. Meanwhile, making its presence felt in the melee that was my consciousness was Rohan’s voice - joking, laughing and chattering away to glory. Rohan, my man, I love you very much, you know I do, but at that very moment I wanted to turn you inside out, paint you green and set a goat upon you, just so that you would shut up for a minute.

For three hours I was tripping. I calmed down a little whenever Chetan and Tulsi’s soothing (and laughing) voices found their way into the peripheries of my perception. I calmed down a little every time I wanted to laugh at myself. I calmed down a little every time I felt like someone was wrenching my feet away from me – I had to lift my legs up to assure myself of their existence. I calmed down a little when I was talking to my mom. I calmed down a little when Sam came – his arms had never felt so good around me.

I calmed down a whole lot more once they told me my parents were there. But that was probably because I had also just finished puking my guts out in Mallu’s bathroom.

This was the first time I got stoned. I hated it. Every minute of it. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I felt like the world around me comprised of zombies who were out to get me. I felt like their cold, clammy hands would be upon me any minute. It was horrible, horrible, horrible, and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

As I'm sure at least 30 other people in my class will agree.