InternShip - A Titanic Journey

I'd rather be tied to a bedpost and whipped (DO NOT for god’s sake get ideas, this is an educational article) and then made to drink the blood of a bat, than to work during my vacation. I mean, come on, one year of BMM is like a masochist's dream come true. An internship would just be a like rotten cherry on top of a puddle of dog poop. So I'm sure you can imagine my delight when the opportunity of working at, ahem, a certain famous PR agency for one month - no less, arrived my way. And you can also picture my expression of utter joy when I learnt that the rotten cherry on top of this puddle of dog poop was that I won’t be getting a penny. Yes that's true. I was supposed to work for free. “After all”, said my employer, “It’s the experience that counts," in a voice so poisonously sweet, that all my arguments against a non-paying internship died a fast death at the base of my throat. “Yes ma’am, I shall be there tomorrow", my lips formed the words, but my ears couldn't believe them. I had agreed to work in my holidays. I had consented to spend 180 hours of my life in the Spartan environment of, (what’s that called again???), an office. I had become something I had always despised - a person with a job. Oh, well, life is unfair; there was nothing I could do about it.
So one day, I was dressed in shorts and a tee, the next in trousers and a shirt. One day I was lazing away to glory with a glass of mango milkshake in one hand and a remote control in another, and the next day I was in the 8 a.m Ambernath fast, worried to death about reaching late on my first day. One day I was a ‘The Bold and the Beautiful’ loving loser, the next day.....well, some things never change. So there I was all dressed up, looking like a complete betrayal of my usual slob self, when I made my grand entry at my new workplace, half-expecting all the employees to burst into applause. My boss introduced me to all the other interns; they were 10 in all, working for free, of course, who brought me up-to-date with the company policy towards interns. This was as follows:
1) There is no such thing as a free meal, or, a chair of your own. You will sit on a chair as and when it becomes empty.
2) We like to keep our interns on their toes. There will be 3 other interns competing for the same chair.
3) If we are satisfied with the amount of running around you do (literally), benevolent that we are we will promote you to the position of a chair-person, which means you will get a chair with your name written on a sheet of paper stuck to it, using scotch-tape.
Now the next set of rules is provided only after you become a chair-person, so naturally none of the interns know about them yet.
Next I was given a job of updating the database, which took me about 3 minutes and 24 seconds, thanks to the magic of the internet. After this enormous workload was entrusted to me, my boss disappeared, owing to a meeting, leaving me free to post on my blog, chat online with my friends, read Cosmopolitan, paint my nails and scratch my back. This was more or less the same picture for the next couple of days. So after the initial bout of apprehension, I've come to the conclusion that internship isn't so bad after all. It might seem to be an awful lot of work; after all, painting your nails requires a tremendous amount of concentration. But then again, in the words of my boss, “It’s the experience that counts.”
Now, if you will excuse me, there is a terrible itch at the lower left corner of my back, which needs tending to.