Get back at your !@#$%^&* ex-boyfriend... complete, unedited and unabridged!!!

How to make sure your sonofabitch ex-boyfriend has a miserable,miserable time without you!!!!

1) Go out with your mutual friends and make sure he is present. When conversation is at its peak, start telling embarrassing stories about him to anyone who’d care to listen. Then pretend that it was a faux pas and giggle nervously. Do this at least 23 times.
e.g. – Oh, did you know that Rohit* wet his bed till he was 13! Oops! *Guilty smile*
2) Pick out his ugliest naked baby pictures, and post them on your blog. Make sure that every girl he knows has a link to it. Allow anonymous comments, grab some popcorn, sit back and watch the fun.
3) If there is anything a man hates the most, it is waiting for you. Call him up and tell him you have urgent work with him on the other side of town. Sound frantic and on the verge of tears. Make him wait for at least 2 hours (“I’ll be there in a minute; I just have to run a few errands for my aunt’s best friend’s sister’s husband’s grandmother”) and then don’t show up (My cat has just been diagnosed with lymphocercoma of the intestine, gotta rush home, sorry!). If there is anything a man hates more than waiting for you, it is being stood up.
4) Call him up at 3 in the morning and sob your heart out about the receding population of the red-bellied piranhas in the Amazon. Discuss the importance of the survival of fish that have the ability of stripping a carcass to the bone for our ecosystem. Research the topic thoroughly before making the phone call.
5) Make him watch the Hindi dubbed version of Independence Day no less than 5 times. Do it on his birthday as a special birthday surprise. Insist on being inspired by a movie and start looking under his bed for aliens.
6) Convince him to go shopping with you. Try on every piece of clothing in the mall, preen in front of the mirror for at least 5 minutes per outfit and ask his opinion every single time. Ask him if it makes you look fat. Annoy him till he gives you a satisfactory reply. More importantly, DO NOT BUY ANYTHING.
7)Flirt with all his close friends; pay them compliments, notice their new hairstyles etc. Just make sure you are completely ignoring him while you are at it - its called rubbing salt on somebody’s wounds.
8) Invent an online game where you’ve to throw fart bombs at your former boyfriend’s picture, 50 points if you hit the nose, 20 if you hit the neck etc. Childish, I know. But very satisfying.
7) Last, but not the least, though definitely the most obvious, go to a party that he is sure to come to, with a really hot guy, and flaunt him in his face. If that doesn’t work, I don’t know what will!

*name changed to protect identity.....hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe